Enhance Sex

Mindfulness During Lovemaking

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“Being stuck in the past-future shuffle in the bedroom robs you of your full presence to be with your partner (or with yourself). During foreplay, you may be thinking about the laundry that needs to get done or the report that’s due for work. Meanwhile, with your mind in those places, you lose the opportunity to fully feel your partner’s presence with you, to feel their caress, their kiss, their body heat, their sounds, their eye contact, their skin and hair textures, their breath on your skin.” Selfgrowth.com

Author: Maya Talisman Frost

Mindfulness is downright sexy. After all, what’s hotter than a partner who is paying attention? being right there, fully in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets. It comes as a bit of a surprise to me that we don’t really use the term “mindfulness” in relation to loving relationships–let alone love in the afternoon.

This should be common, mainstream, lap-your-forehead-and-say-”Duh!” kind of knowledge. I don’t pretend to be an expert on what goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive and give birth to four children within five years) but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment unless you are right there in it.

Oh, sure, it’s possible to experience physical pleasure when your mind is on something–or someone–other than that which shares your sheets. But we’re talking about meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls for Mindfulness with a capital M.

It doesn’t have to be tantric. You don’t have to master every kama sutra position. It doesn’t need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You don’t even need any props or helpful devices. It can be your regular Tuesday night missionary position in your socks and still be ka-ZAM–if you’re paying attention.

Oh, and here’s a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works?

Before two (sober) people can become completely comfortable detailing their x-rated fantasies and completely humbling themselves to others, there must be a good level of love and trust involved. Most importantly, each partner must take on a mindful, compassionate attitude toward themselves and the other person involved. Great Sex With Mindfulness

Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with the television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads. Not possible. By bringing mindfulness to the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on the same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you “what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!” it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else.

The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be right there, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart–and mind–into it.

Now, that’s sexy.

Mindfulness is a habit that we should be seeking to incorporate in as much of our day as possible and that should transfer to the bedroom, not be the only place that we are mindful, although that is a good start. “Put yourself more in the moment with mindfulness exercises and you’ll give yourself more brain power. Mindfulness exercises put you in a state of awareness, and help you let go of distractions. Done regularly, these exercises let you think more clearly and help you to concentrate.” Increasebrainpower.com

About the author:
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse offering specialized mindfulness training in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com

Image Source: http://flickr.com/photos/kliefi/2396356529/

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